I had to get away. No longer talking to the one I love, for the first time, absoultely no contact. So far it's been hard. But to make it easier I went away over the weekend so that I could force myself not to lay around like I always find myself doing these weekends (as of late).
I decided several hours before I left, rushed home and packed far too much, as always. This time I took the chinatown bus. Fell asleep the whole way there. Once I was there I was stranded and a bit annoyed, my face was full of SHIT, I had a terrible headache, I just wanted to get to Ruths pad and fall asleep.
The next day I woke up late. Face still FULL. My throat felt like I had a bubble just stick in the back, wanting to pop. My ears and hearing diminshing as well. But my winter-wonderland was near. It was snowing and I was excited. The plan was to go to chinatown but it didn't happen. Eventually went out to union square and got everything I have been wanting from forever 21 for the past 3 months, and some more (excpet this one dress). But that was successful. Of course through out my whole trip I spent too much, I don't even want to look at my bank account. For once, I will be alright though.
I'll fast forward to later in the night when we finally went out. Music sucked at places, it was all electro shit, and I needed good music in my life. I needed biggie, I needed reggae, I needed anything I could sing and move to freely, just so I didn't have to think. Finally, the DJ played what I requested- I was told he would if I danced by him. So I did what I had to do. Soon, a dyke fell in love with me. She told me I was the only one in there that really knew how to dance. I danced with her a little, not even sexual really. But she insisted on putting her chain around me and telling me I was cool as shit and I gotta come to NY more. Her name was "She" for Sheena. That was interesting.
Sunday, I got up in enough time to get my daily NY Dunkin Donuts and head to chinatown for my bus ride. The lady at the counter was this eency-weency-tiny BITCH. She was so rude to only white people. It was incredible.
I intended on blogging on the way back. But before I nodded off, I jotted down things I was pondering on a bar reciept, things to blog about. Things I just read about in ID mag. I'll save some of the good shit for later. Some of the other notes looked like this:
- life & colds, going to work (I think I was thinking about how colds don't affect our going to work anymore, being an adult rarely leaves room for excuses).
- fashion designer- (I think I was reminscing on at one point when I was little I wanted to be one)
- blocking shit out for a long time (I guess I was thinking about how I would be needing to do this)
- Know when I get back to normal, slump (self explanatory, and yes, last night was REALLY hard)
- Roomates (I realized not having roommates allows me to self loath and be lazy because there is no one around to make me do otherwise, this might be bad)
Maybe this will all make me go out and do some more self discovery, go open myself up to this world, there is so much to see after all! Even a night of listening to some jazz would be beneficial.